Happy Early Birthday to YOU!

• click here for the super amazing, awesomely kickass SURPRISE! •

Life is lovely :)

Ahhhh been so busy/lazy lately, I haven't updated much.
Sooooooo excited that it's already halfway through the month of MAY!

yayayayayayyyyy! in just 3 weeks I will be on a plane to see my best friend and I get to spend an entire MONTH with her!! Sad to leave my babylove for a whole month, but can't wait to be back in his arms afterwards; because within a week/two after I get back, we will be MOVING IN, finally!!!! So ready to start decorating our apartment, getting everything in order... life is so wonderful! And I'm so blessed to be sharing it with my Joshua! :)

Blah... update!

Wowza life has become a big ball of stress for me, and it's only gonna get stressful until I can buckle down and just choose something. I hate when you're in a position where everything you can choose from depends on everything else, and vice versa. Everything depends on everything, if that makes sense. Especially because I'm about to make the transition from CC to University. The price of this shit? DEAR.GOD! I'm gonna have to harvest both of my kidneys and probably some other vital organs just to pay for the first year.

What about the other two?!

Man, I could use a beer. or five.

I have a feeling USM is gonna rip me not one, not even two.. but close to three IF NOT MORE, new assholes before I'm done. School loans are the absolute last priority. Not to mention, my plans of going to med school after Southern? I can't handle loans upon loans.. and on TOP OF THAT! -- if I absolutely have to live on my own, I have no idea how I'm gonna come up with money to do so. I absolutely REFUSE to work myself to death when I'm at a university. If my grants require me to have a certain GPA then that comes first. I just won't do it. Mother dearest can be pissed off all she wants to & call me lazy but my school is what I care about most. I just have to figure all this shit out. Stress and me do not mix well; and granted that's probably everyone but me, especially. I will seclude myself from everyone & everything just so I can figure everything out. Being a recluse is my specialty >.> But anyways; so glad the end of school is coming near. soooo happy because for once I'm actually very optimistic about my grades, haha. I've done so much better this semester now that I know what the hell I'm doing. I just hope everything works out for the best. Sometimes you really do have to do what you need to do, regardless of caring who you piss off or upset as the outcome.

well enough about that..
Life? {despite all the school stress} is amazing ♥ I have the man of my dreams! I am sooo so so blessed :) He finishes my sentences, makes me smile even at times when I don't feel like smiling. Sings to me ♥ scratches my back without complaining ;) ... he does everything. He is everything. I can't help but brag how good I have it since he came into my life & I know people prob get sick of hearing it lol. I've just never had this, I wanna tell everyone :) I can't even begin to describe this feeling haha but I know there is no way in HELL that I am ever letting this one go! He truly makes me forget my heart was ever broken & it's so wonderful. I'm so lucky to have found him! :) aaAAaAaaAhhHhHHHHhhhHhh Lots of smiles for this girl :) feel like it can only go up from here no matter how down I get from time to time! He is my other half :B {/nerd} Until next time, stay colorful ♥ ♠ ♦ ♣

Did I mention that I could use a beer? Yeah, big tall beer.

My spring break was absolutely wonderful...
{ absolutely _ positively _ 1238947234% PERFECT }
so here I am, to spam you with pictures of me & my kickass boyfriend >:]




he lights up my world ♥

& actually on our last day together, I had a photoshoot to do...
and here are some of the sneak previews of the shots I took!

♥

SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY :)
For the past.. 2 or so months, I've had my eye on this one person in particular.
Talking to him.. hearing his voice.. made everything better.
My days would be complete shit but talking to him at night fixed all of that.
And this past Friday {03/09/12} - seems like it changed my life fo'eva.
I know this is the beginning to a beautiful chapter in my life...
And I am so ready to read it all.
Life has never seemed so wonderful.
Perfect? No. But he sure does give the word a run for its money.

There is absolutely nothing in this world that could ever make me let any of this go.
I am so blessed :)

If only for a moment this will last,
I'll enjoy every minute to pass. ♥

Picture update!

played around a little bit with the lighting + new lens...
and I absolutely LOVE the outcome!!!! These pictures seem flawless!
{which is soooooooooooooo not close to my face, LOL!}

What is love?

Have you ever wanted to learn so much about something/someone? You find yourself at a loss for words because it seems there is never enough time in the day to say what you wanna say, or ask what you wanna ask -- and with every question sprouts 3 new questions, and so on... just feels like when your day comes to a close, you could have been talking all day, nonstop & still have so much left that you want to learn, you hate that you have to wait another 12+ hours or so to start finding out again. The fact that you lose sleep when talking to them, and maybe even after you've both gone to bed - you lose sleep thinking about them. But talking to them is the best part of your day. You absolutely can't wait to hear about their day, too. Because when they're talking, it's like you're hearing your voice replayed after you've said the same thing to yourself before. The entire day you ask yourself, 'I wonder what we're gonna talk about tonight?' -- time flies when you're talking. You start at 9:30 them bam it's already 2am. But you don't care.. time means nothing, really. And then you find yourself writing down things to ask because once they start talking, it triggers things you wanna talk about - and you are so anxious to hear what they have to say, that you don't wanna interrupt them. When you get sidetracked, it's normally because of the thought of them ;) You ask yourself how someone so wonderful could be created; you're almost tempted to question it because you were always taught if things seem too good to be true, they probably are. But this is different.. this is just, so amazing. Your head tries to think logically and keep safety in mind, but your heart says what the hell I don't even care. It's things like THAT, that show you the true meaning to life.

A life without love is one wasted, in my opinion.
Whether it be love of/for things, or love of/for someone --
if you don't experience SOME kind of love, you just simply aren't living.

My opinion of love is simply this; it is:
1/non-judgmental : when you love someone, you don't judge them by any means. they act retarded, so what. they don't like sour cream, so what. they love classical music, so what. all of that makes them who they are; don't discriminate against it, embrace it. because if you ever hope to find true, absolute love - passing judgment on differences gets in the way of that.

2/forgiving : the biggest things I think we, as humans, struggle with - is forgiveness. am I saying if he cheats on you, you should forgive him every time he does it? absolutely not. there's a line drawn with certain circumstances. but having a fallout just because he forgot you don't really like brocolli? i mean, come on.

3/understanding : being able to understand and accept kinda go hand in hand; when you understand a person, you understand they will not always think like you do. they won't always agree with you. they won't always have good days. but when you can understand that about a person, when you can truly understand everything they are & everything they have to offer - your heart is set & able to experience everything love has to offer. that's just the plain truth.

4/energetic : love is all about keeping it exciting and learning new things, doing new things and continuously having fun... if you can't have fun, then what good is it?

5/accepting : just like being able to understand in love, accepting what you understand makes it even more beautiful. because when you can learn to accept the truth, you learn real love.

6/patience : when you're in love with someone, you can't rush things just to get to the finish line. you just can't, you ruin the integrity of your relationship. and you can't just wake up one day and expect things to change if causing conflict within your relationship. patience=time. don't be so quick to get to the end, enjoy it while it's happening. cherish it, all of it.

7/trust : the biggest key when it comes to love. without trust, you cannot build on your foundation of love. without trust, your relationship will forever be stuck at a red light. you can't expect to get anywhere without getting/giving trust because it inhibits you from growing together as a whole.

8/loyal & devoted : the one place where people go WRONG in love; when you love someone, you are DEVOTED to them and are LOYAL to them. it doesn't even mean you have to physically cheat on them - emotionally cheating is just as bad; thinking of being with someone else, picturing yourself with someone else, etc.. fantasizing, etc. when you're loyal to someone it means through EVERYTHING.. it means through it all, the bad and worse - not just the good.

9/affectionate : affection doesn't always have to come with hugs and kisses, but simply showing you love & care about someone, even with simple nothings.

10/the ultimate teacher : love has its own way of teaching someone a lot of things they never realized until that point in time. mainly because when they experience love, their perspectives change DRAMATICALLY. you see things a lot clearer and positively, and you start being realistic about them. whether the love you experience lasts for a lifetime or a mere couple years, cherish any kind of love you have the opportunity to experience. because most won't allow themselves to experience it at all. and those are the ones truly missing out.

some recipes

So I was up all night again {what's new?}, so I decided to browse Pinterest for the 2384723489th time. Found some really interesting recipes that I'm gonna try within the next couple days; ESPECIALLY the Dr. Pepper cupcakes! Mmmmmm.. I'm not a big soda person, but I love the way Dr.P tastes -- so maybe it will be okay being incorporated into other means of food ;) Enjoy!! Would love to hear about your experience making any of these/if you altered the recipes any?? Comment away! Feel free to suggest any other recipes as well!!



Fried Egg & Avocado Sandwich here
Cheesecake in a Jar here
Dr. Pepper Cupcakes here

my newest addition..

FINALLY got my lip pierced (:
day of: not too shabby!
day after: eh little sore if I move it

Time Well Spent

*tis a bit lengthy, but a good read nonetheless!

"Its a long and lonely road, when you know you walk alone." -- that's how I feel a lot of times. Me and my other best friend we're talking about this and it inspired me to write a note. Just kinda been in a blah mood here lately {what's new?} because we got on the subject about how we're both just questioning a lot. How we stand in life, how we stand in other peoples'... And I agree with her on her feelings because I share a lot of them.

First addressing: -- every one AND thing is just hurtful.
I feel like I'm beside myself {except her, of course} when I say that I believe I was truly made different. No, not just because everyone is different because no sh_t I have blue eyes, you have brown. Everyone claims they're different but how many honestly have something to show for it? Not many. "When the only people who think you're worth anything are your family and your teachers, something has to be wrong. And maybe it's not everyone else, maybe it's not that they're wrong. maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm naive and ignorant and maybe I'll suffer for it. I just don't know how to please anyone or make people think. The decay of America and of society will never be repaired if people can't learn to respect and listen to each other without calling the other invalid or insignificant." - that last part is what I'm addressing first. I couldn't agree more. The fact that we can't live in this country without being bashed and discriminated for the way we choose to live. If you're black, you're a {n word}. If you're a mexican, you're automatically illegal. If you're gay/lesbian, you're going to hell, etc etc. If you're overweight, you're not worth someone's time. If you're gorgeous, you're a whore. If you're republican or democrat, it means you're satanic. If you live in a trailer, you're trailer trash. Yadda yadda, I could go on forever about the judgments that are made of people. But it still doesn't change the fact that you're being judged for superficial things.

LOVE HAS NO FACE.
Don't know what that means? I'll tell you. --> it means that when you love someone or try to find the capability to love someone, it shouldn't matter about their physical attributes or superficial traits. Money, vehicle, place of work, body fat percentage.. that does not make up a person. It just makes up how they look. And yes some people say attraction isn't everything but it's at least significant. Yeah, maybe. But my thing is, I believe TRUE attraction comes from within. Because what happens if that person gets cancer? Loses all their hair, loses so much weight.. then what, are you gonna stop loving them because they lost what attracted you in the first place? What about if you wanna marry one person; you have to realize that those things WILL die. The long blonde hair, the nice a$$, the nice chest, the six pack, the gorgeous smile.. -- your hair will change to gray. your a$$ won't always be firm. your chest will not always retain the shape it is now. your six pack will turn to flab after so many six packs. your teeth will get yellow and brittle.. all over time. So ask yourself, when so many people complain about wanting to find a soulmate or someone they can spend forever with - are you willing to let go of your criteria of strictly superficial things? Too many people live in the right now, instead of thinking ahead. And that's where you ALL GO WRONG.

Second addressing: -- having an opinion makes you irrelevant.
since when did it become a sin to have an opinion of something/someone? Oh that's right. Since the dawn of time. Just because society is so set on trying to get people to 'see the way they do' because it's the 'appropriate' way. Politics and religion, ESPECIALLY. This is what I rant about most though, situations like these. Republican vs. democrat; okay each side proves valid arguments for both, and both have their negative aspects. WHY BASH ON SOMEONE FOR LIKING THE OPPOSITE OF YOU? You believe what you believe, so why can't they? You believe you have the right to like who you like, so why can't they just because it's different? Stop being so hypocritical and naive. Throw in ignorant, too. I understand why people feud about this, but there is a difference between legitimate arguing and arguing just because you think you can. I don't belittle others for thinking/feeling how they want, and you shouldn't either. That's the beauty of the whole thing. IT - IS - AN - OPINION. If they can't have one, then you shouldn't be able to either.

Third addressing: -- being different as a whole.
I guess where I've been wrong all along is that I expect so much out of people, simply because I believe there is hope in everything that seems lost. And like I've stated in my previous note(s), most people consider me bitter. But hey, if that's your assumption then oh well. I love being in love. It is such a beautiful thing and I pray that I can find that again one day, and I mean REALLY find it! It's beautiful, scary, and everything in between. Knowing you can wake up every morning with someone who loves you for YOU, even if you wake up with a huge zit on the tip of your nose... there's no ifs and or buts.. it's wonderful. Not having to try so hard to get your point across with someone. Being able to be completely ridiculous with someone just as crazy. All of that is so beautiful. And I don't hate men, god I love how people assume that. I don't by any means. And I also don't think 'there are no good ones left' - there are, I see them everywhere. may not be my type, but they're there. I've just been hurt by two that I gave my everything to, and it's scarred me up a bit. I'm not saying I'm strung out on either one of them still because I'm not, it's just scary to think - "Wow I gave my all to them and this was the outcome.. I'm scared to do it again" - I think that's the biggest inhibition we, as humans, face. The confidence and motivation to open back up completely to some random person we've never experienced a relationship with before {most of the time*} It's scary knowing you could end up disappointed like every other time. But one disappointment leaves room for ten new opportunites. And it goes on and on. So idk if this note has spoken to you in any way, but to the person who is reading this - yes, love is scary. love is daring. bold. brilliant. terrifying. and a lot of hard work. Love is not defined as easy; LOVING someone may be, but keeping your love alive and making it work, is anything but.

Okay so in the process of writing this, my best friend just wrote a note and addressed SO MUCH that I was about to say! 'At sh_t cray.' -- this is why I love her. she feels what I feel.

Fourth addressing: being compassionate for people who don't deserve it.
I hate the way I feel about people. I really do I hate it. I see so much good in people, I'm so compassionate about them.. I love them all the same. Those who, to others, don't even deserve it. But the more and more I'm hurt by others I'm just trying to love or granted simply be a GOOD FRIEND to, the more I can't stand caring about them. I know my life would be so much easier if I could just not care. I look at everyone else who hates the human race, doesn't give a rat's a$$ about it.. they just go about their lives, floating on by.. and while I envy their mindset, I question how they can do that? I guess my subconscious and reality itself are at a constant battle royale with each other, and it seems like it will never end.

Fifth addressing: -- my non-existent, but near future children.
I plan to have children one day, even if it means raising them alone and being AI'd. Because children are such a big deal to me. To me, they are the glue that holds life together. And until you have them, your perspective on living is a whole lot different. Sometimes I really wish I could have a kid at my age because it would give me a reason to keep going; because seems all too often than not, each reason I thought I had is slowly disappearing. When I have children, I will raise them right. No this is not some 'how to parent your rambunctious child(ren)' type note, but I'm saying my child(ren) will know the difference in a lot of things. They will know respect. They will know forgiveness. They will know individuality. They will know how to accept and believe. But I will not try to conform him/her to be exactly like me. Even though they are FROM me, doesn't mean they will BE me. And similarly, I'm writing this like Addreonna. I know my son/daughter is gonna lie to me one day, just like I have lied to my mom. {after all it is my child...lol.} And I'm not gonna be okay with it, but that's just a part of life. Raising children isn't always gonna be butterflies & giggles. But just as I am growing now, I know my child is gonna be confused about a lot. Who they want to be, what they want to do, how they want to live.. and I can only hope that I can set a good example for him/her. I can't even begin to imagine what this world is gonna be like once I do have children, but I hope like hell I can show them the right way of living and they won't succumb into some lifestyle that they hate, but follow because it's what seems 'appropriate'. I know my child is gonna get hurt, and most likely hurt a lot. He/she will set their happiness upon/in other things/people they shouldn't, and are going to be failed a lot in their lifetime - I just pray it's never by me. I will always encourage them with my full being, just as my mom has me, that being different is a beautiful, amazing thing.

Sixth addressing: -- trying to shape someone into what you want to see.
"Trying to change people is redundant. It's pointless to try and change a person. What's not pointless is letting them know that you love and support them no matter what they decide to do. It's letting them know that you're there no matter if what they're doing is hurting you or making you upset. It's learning how to deal with things in a respectable and understanding way and knowing how to handle a situation where two people don't agree with one another." ... I honestly could not put that any better {love you, Adgy-flan :D} --- trying your damndest to change someone takes away their authenticity. So what if they act different than you, are more laid back.. are more realistic. So what if they read the newspaper comics. If it's not something life threatening to you and it's minute compared to other problems that could be, why not just STFU and learn to deal with it? Because they're an amazing person, you know they are - especially if you find yourself saying 'they're great EXCEPT...' -- except what? Except they're not like what you're used to? they're not how you want them be? except they're different? Embrace it, don't degrade it. Take a chance sometime; you might find out you like the outcome.

So, to conclude my enormous rant - I guess I will say this. That I love those who are genuinely different. And I love those who classify themselves to be, but are simply just like the person their attitude portrays. Don't conform to what everyone else likes; because it gets you nowhere, and you'll constantly be traveling in the circle that you can't break free from. Be different, be YOU. You shouldn't have to change yourself in ANY way to have someone to notice you are worth their time. If you do, then they obviously - are not.

- Bubzy

Happy happy happy! :D

MEET SAMSUN!!!!!!!

My galaxy player FINALLY came in, and it is NOTHING short of amazing ;) Just as I thought though... pffftt. I didn't realize until I unwrapped it from the package that I actually got the white model, which I actually like - a lot. Can't see scratches as much if I happen to scratch it, lol. My mom flipped when she found out I payed $215+tax for this bad baby, but honestly I would have payed that much for a decent Ipod {which I will never, ever, EVER do. Anti-Apple here people!} -- anywho, you can check out the full specs of the 4.0 mode vs. the 5.0 {the one that I bought} here .. I'm really happy in getting the 5.0 because the 4.0 is about the size of my phone; not complaining, but the 5.0 beat it's sibling by a milestone. Both run off Android 2.3.5 Gingerbread, and while I'm not a HUGE fan of previous versions, it's quite impressive so far. But Samsun has a massive 5" amaaaazing LCD display, and extremely thin at only 0.46". Everything else is pretty much the same as the 4, with the exception that it sports flash in the rear to accompany its wonderous 3.2-megapixel camera. And the sound. OH. MY. GOD. The sound is better than my TABLET. {For the most part, some songs I listened to were just poor quality. Thanks, Youtube.} But overall it's woooonderfuuullllll :D If that's not a win for me, the 2,500 mAh battery has TWICE the charge time, at a whopping 60 hours. There was one review that drove my to buy it though, after reading through many. The guy stated: "I tested it looping video continuously, brightness set to half (plenty bright in a lit room), with Wi-Fi, GPS, and all other potential power drains turned off. The Galaxy Player 5.0 finally shut down, after looping video continuously for... ten hours and forty one minutes. No, that's not a typo. If you assume the music-only performance is similarly undersold, you're looking at 78 hours of music playback. You'll understand why I didn't run a continuous test to actually check that out -- you'd be waiting at least three more days for this review." -- Samsung states it allows 8 hours of video playback, or 60 hours of music.

-- So I'm pretty stoked :D Yes. My nerd is showing :B


Here are the two compared SbS; Samsun's cousin, Sungo is on the is on the left :D


All in all, I think I made a damn good choice. Reasons being:
1. I didn't buy Apple.
2. I didn't buy Apple.
3. I didn't buy Apple.
4. ....... It's shiny :D

4 months.

I just wish it was easier than this. You're gone. I'm still empty.

-

it seems as if my heart is a tad bit fluttery lately :)
but it's a good thing. I feel like a school girl.

/RANDOM POST FOR THE NIGHT


annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd cut.

Recent

Bah, here I go on these busy rampages again. Feel like there is never enough time to do what I need to in the day.. I hope some day soon they come up with a reasonable explanation for why days should be like, 30 hours long - instead of only 24.

School has its ups & downs, like always. I'm pretty mellowed out for the most part. Midterms are coming up but I don't think any of my classes do those lol LUCKY FER ME. And plus, I got offered a spot to take the Math ACT portion out of like, 100 kids. AND! I get $75 just for doing so :D ummm I think so!

Life is the same ol' same ol'. It's still rather exciting, even though I stay at home for the most part :) I really am a nerd. Coding, and whatnot. And the rarity that I DO in fact, go out. It's normally by myself. Yet, lame again. Because everyone who always bitches about not getting out and doing anything with anyone are the first ones to bail on me when I offer. So, to hell with you all :]

Pretty excited for the months to come though! Life is gonna get a tad bit interesting..

_ have to make an appt. to tour USM, along with appointments for different apartment places
_ booking my ticket soon to go see Kara! Promised her I would be there to watch her graduate :) my gooodddd it's been FOREVER since I'VE gotten to fly!
_ filling out my FAFSA as we speak ... it'll be interesting to see just how much I get back this year lol
_ diet has gone nowhere :/ i sucha fatty..


and just overall life is just one big jumbled mess! not complaining though :)

Baked Zucchini Sticks & Sweet Onion Dip!

Find out the full recipe HERE if you don't want to read mine, haha.

For this recipe, I used two zucchinis - about medium size. (8" or so long) Cut each zucchini into 3″ sticks about the diameter, give or take, of your finger. Doesn't really matter how you cut them, because I just made sure I cut them each about two/three inches in length haha! Place the zucchini sticks in a bowl & sprinkle with salt, let sit while you're making the rest of the recipe.

FOR THE DIP:
First, melt 1 tbsp butter in a pan over medium heat, & add 1 medium sweet onion (about 1/2 pound), sliced & diced. Stir them occasionally until the onions soften & change in color. It took about 10 minutes for them to change light brown like I wanted them to. The lower the heat, the longer it takes, but the less likely you are to burn the onions. While waiting, preheat the oven to 425°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment, and spray the parchment with olive oil.When the onions are finished, remove them from the heat - and combine with the following in a small food processor or blender:

2 tbsp cider vinegar
2 tbsp honey
1 tbsp dijon mustard

Blend until fairly smooth; remove from blender/processor and stir in 1 cup mayonnaise. When that is done, I set mine in the fridge to kinda thicken up some more and keep cold while the zucchini are cooking.

For the coating of the sticks, you will need:
1 C Panko bread crumbs
1/2 C freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Just blend it together with your hands - that's what I did.

Next step - beat 2 large eggs in a bowl. After you're done, dip each zucchini stick in the egg, and roll in the mixture of bread crumbs.

Place the sticks on the baking sheet & bake them for about 12 min, until they’re starting to brown. Remove from the oven, and turn them over; bake an extra 12 to 15 minutes or so, until they're a crispy golden brown color.



AND ENJOY!!!! :) Healthy, and wonderful!

Oy

Really..........?
I really only still have TWO followers?!
as many people as I'm following... gah.

Guess I better promote myself better, lol.
not really that big'a deal.


UPDATE ON SCHOOL:
having online classes isn't as bad as I thought, actually.
although it's still 3 more classes I have to study for >.>
but oh well.. quicker I get it done, faster I'll get to where I wanna be.
LOVE my criminal investigation class.


alrighty - off to wash some clothes & make some graphics.
toodles ♥

Ahoy Mateys

Doctors are pricks. Granted I live with one, so I know. They are SLOW. Not very concerning. And just... dipshits, to put a better word.

I am lazy D: I hate this part about myself. I can admit it, finally. I have no motivation to go to the gym to get my fat arse up and DO SOMETHING. Cuz I'm getting more heart disease by the minute. Bah.

I need more followers. Like wtf, seriously. I have TWO. Something is wrong with this picture here.

So I've been pinning ALL week. It's outrageous. Unreal. Psychotic.
But soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fun :D!
I have so many ideas. I wanna piss myself I'm so happy.

Punk {2}

Punk {2} by iambubzy featuring skinny jeans

Classy {1}

Classy {1} by iambubzy featuring white gold diamond rings

Sailor {2}

Sailor {2} by iambubzy featuring anchor jewelry