Life is lovely :)

Ahhhh been so busy/lazy lately, I haven't updated much.
Sooooooo excited that it's already halfway through the month of MAY!

yayayayayayyyyy! in just 3 weeks I will be on a plane to see my best friend and I get to spend an entire MONTH with her!! Sad to leave my babylove for a whole month, but can't wait to be back in his arms afterwards; because within a week/two after I get back, we will be MOVING IN, finally!!!! So ready to start decorating our apartment, getting everything in order... life is so wonderful! And I'm so blessed to be sharing it with my Joshua! :)

Blah... update!

Wowza life has become a big ball of stress for me, and it's only gonna get stressful until I can buckle down and just choose something. I hate when you're in a position where everything you can choose from depends on everything else, and vice versa. Everything depends on everything, if that makes sense. Especially because I'm about to make the transition from CC to University. The price of this shit? DEAR.GOD! I'm gonna have to harvest both of my kidneys and probably some other vital organs just to pay for the first year.

What about the other two?!

Man, I could use a beer. or five.

I have a feeling USM is gonna rip me not one, not even two.. but close to three IF NOT MORE, new assholes before I'm done. School loans are the absolute last priority. Not to mention, my plans of going to med school after Southern? I can't handle loans upon loans.. and on TOP OF THAT! -- if I absolutely have to live on my own, I have no idea how I'm gonna come up with money to do so. I absolutely REFUSE to work myself to death when I'm at a university. If my grants require me to have a certain GPA then that comes first. I just won't do it. Mother dearest can be pissed off all she wants to & call me lazy but my school is what I care about most. I just have to figure all this shit out. Stress and me do not mix well; and granted that's probably everyone but me, especially. I will seclude myself from everyone & everything just so I can figure everything out. Being a recluse is my specialty >.> But anyways; so glad the end of school is coming near. soooo happy because for once I'm actually very optimistic about my grades, haha. I've done so much better this semester now that I know what the hell I'm doing. I just hope everything works out for the best. Sometimes you really do have to do what you need to do, regardless of caring who you piss off or upset as the outcome.

well enough about that..
Life? {despite all the school stress} is amazing ♥ I have the man of my dreams! I am sooo so so blessed :) He finishes my sentences, makes me smile even at times when I don't feel like smiling. Sings to me ♥ scratches my back without complaining ;) ... he does everything. He is everything. I can't help but brag how good I have it since he came into my life & I know people prob get sick of hearing it lol. I've just never had this, I wanna tell everyone :) I can't even begin to describe this feeling haha but I know there is no way in HELL that I am ever letting this one go! He truly makes me forget my heart was ever broken & it's so wonderful. I'm so lucky to have found him! :) aaAAaAaaAhhHhHHHHhhhHhh Lots of smiles for this girl :) feel like it can only go up from here no matter how down I get from time to time! He is my other half :B {/nerd} Until next time, stay colorful ♥ ♠ ♦ ♣

Did I mention that I could use a beer? Yeah, big tall beer.

My spring break was absolutely wonderful...
{ absolutely _ positively _ 1238947234% PERFECT }
so here I am, to spam you with pictures of me & my kickass boyfriend >:]




he lights up my world ♥

& actually on our last day together, I had a photoshoot to do...
and here are some of the sneak previews of the shots I took!

♥

SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY :)
For the past.. 2 or so months, I've had my eye on this one person in particular.
Talking to him.. hearing his voice.. made everything better.
My days would be complete shit but talking to him at night fixed all of that.
And this past Friday {03/09/12} - seems like it changed my life fo'eva.
I know this is the beginning to a beautiful chapter in my life...
And I am so ready to read it all.
Life has never seemed so wonderful.
Perfect? No. But he sure does give the word a run for its money.

There is absolutely nothing in this world that could ever make me let any of this go.
I am so blessed :)

If only for a moment this will last,
I'll enjoy every minute to pass. ♥

Picture update!

played around a little bit with the lighting + new lens...
and I absolutely LOVE the outcome!!!! These pictures seem flawless!
{which is soooooooooooooo not close to my face, LOL!}

What is love?

Have you ever wanted to learn so much about something/someone? You find yourself at a loss for words because it seems there is never enough time in the day to say what you wanna say, or ask what you wanna ask -- and with every question sprouts 3 new questions, and so on... just feels like when your day comes to a close, you could have been talking all day, nonstop & still have so much left that you want to learn, you hate that you have to wait another 12+ hours or so to start finding out again. The fact that you lose sleep when talking to them, and maybe even after you've both gone to bed - you lose sleep thinking about them. But talking to them is the best part of your day. You absolutely can't wait to hear about their day, too. Because when they're talking, it's like you're hearing your voice replayed after you've said the same thing to yourself before. The entire day you ask yourself, 'I wonder what we're gonna talk about tonight?' -- time flies when you're talking. You start at 9:30 them bam it's already 2am. But you don't care.. time means nothing, really. And then you find yourself writing down things to ask because once they start talking, it triggers things you wanna talk about - and you are so anxious to hear what they have to say, that you don't wanna interrupt them. When you get sidetracked, it's normally because of the thought of them ;) You ask yourself how someone so wonderful could be created; you're almost tempted to question it because you were always taught if things seem too good to be true, they probably are. But this is different.. this is just, so amazing. Your head tries to think logically and keep safety in mind, but your heart says what the hell I don't even care. It's things like THAT, that show you the true meaning to life.

A life without love is one wasted, in my opinion.
Whether it be love of/for things, or love of/for someone --
if you don't experience SOME kind of love, you just simply aren't living.

My opinion of love is simply this; it is:
1/non-judgmental : when you love someone, you don't judge them by any means. they act retarded, so what. they don't like sour cream, so what. they love classical music, so what. all of that makes them who they are; don't discriminate against it, embrace it. because if you ever hope to find true, absolute love - passing judgment on differences gets in the way of that.

2/forgiving : the biggest things I think we, as humans, struggle with - is forgiveness. am I saying if he cheats on you, you should forgive him every time he does it? absolutely not. there's a line drawn with certain circumstances. but having a fallout just because he forgot you don't really like brocolli? i mean, come on.

3/understanding : being able to understand and accept kinda go hand in hand; when you understand a person, you understand they will not always think like you do. they won't always agree with you. they won't always have good days. but when you can understand that about a person, when you can truly understand everything they are & everything they have to offer - your heart is set & able to experience everything love has to offer. that's just the plain truth.

4/energetic : love is all about keeping it exciting and learning new things, doing new things and continuously having fun... if you can't have fun, then what good is it?

5/accepting : just like being able to understand in love, accepting what you understand makes it even more beautiful. because when you can learn to accept the truth, you learn real love.

6/patience : when you're in love with someone, you can't rush things just to get to the finish line. you just can't, you ruin the integrity of your relationship. and you can't just wake up one day and expect things to change if causing conflict within your relationship. patience=time. don't be so quick to get to the end, enjoy it while it's happening. cherish it, all of it.

7/trust : the biggest key when it comes to love. without trust, you cannot build on your foundation of love. without trust, your relationship will forever be stuck at a red light. you can't expect to get anywhere without getting/giving trust because it inhibits you from growing together as a whole.

8/loyal & devoted : the one place where people go WRONG in love; when you love someone, you are DEVOTED to them and are LOYAL to them. it doesn't even mean you have to physically cheat on them - emotionally cheating is just as bad; thinking of being with someone else, picturing yourself with someone else, etc.. fantasizing, etc. when you're loyal to someone it means through EVERYTHING.. it means through it all, the bad and worse - not just the good.

9/affectionate : affection doesn't always have to come with hugs and kisses, but simply showing you love & care about someone, even with simple nothings.

10/the ultimate teacher : love has its own way of teaching someone a lot of things they never realized until that point in time. mainly because when they experience love, their perspectives change DRAMATICALLY. you see things a lot clearer and positively, and you start being realistic about them. whether the love you experience lasts for a lifetime or a mere couple years, cherish any kind of love you have the opportunity to experience. because most won't allow themselves to experience it at all. and those are the ones truly missing out.